Agius/ Waddell: Thou hast come safe to port, I still at sea
Buson: Lonelier than last year

Merrit Malloy: Give what's left of me away


When I die
give what's left of me away
to children
and old men that wait to die.
And if you need to cry,
cry for your brother
walking the street beside you.
And when you need me,
put your arms
around anyone
and give them
what you need to give to me....

Look for me
in the people I've known
or loved....

Love doesn't die,
people do.
So, when all that's left of me is love,
give me away.

  --Merrit Malloy. Her real name was Mary Malloy, and she published many books between 1975 and 1985. Have not been able to find much information about her on the internet. If you know more, for example the source of this poem, please let me know.

You can read the whole poem here


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I love Merrit Malloy and would lke to know if I can post her poetry on my F B page

Hi Pat, Unless your FB page is public, I don't see why not. As I've said, I've tried to find out more about her, but have not been able to.

This "poem" appears to be copied from the kaddish yatom, a Jewish hymn of praise often used in grieving the loss of a loved one.

We read this poem for my girlfriend, Marylyn, @ her service on the 1 year anniversary of her death. She was the the most beautiful person i have ever known or seen. Gone from this world @ only 39 years old. I miss the comfort of her love.

Dear Eric,

I am so sorry about your loss of Marylyn. She sounds wonderful. I hope your grief will lessen with time.

Best wishes for the future,

Merrit Malloy made a lasting impression on me when I first found her poetry in a local book store. Her work has stayed with me all these years and she has created such a lasting impression in my life. Merritt gives a voice to our own deepest unspoken feelings, in a way that I have not experienced before or after with any other author. I hope she knows how gifted and unforgettable she is. And if she should happen to read this - I'm sending a big hug her way.

I have just found her website:

Thank you Merritt!

I would like to help set "When I Die" to music. The poem has been adapted for use in a Jewish memorial service. It is that version I would like to use.
Would this be ok?
Of course, there would be an attribution....

Hi Allen,
I'm afraid I don't have the rights to the poem; I have never been able to reach Merrit, although I have tried. Apparently she is still alive.

Best wishes—that seems like a wonderful thing to do for a poet.

To clarify for Ali ... this poem is Merritt Malloy ... not surprising the mistake in reference to Kaddish ... when one “borrows” another’s work, it is customary in the honorable world to give credit to the author ... the Kaddish Yatom should clarify honestly.

“The ... poem called “Epitaph” by Merrit Malloy — one of numerous poems (typically, like this one, by non-Jews) which recent editions of the Reform Jewish prayer book add as options/meditations before or after the various bits of traditional liturgy that they still include. (You may have noticed the header, in your photo, identifying this as a meditation before Kaddish: not the prayer itself.)
The Kaddish, in its various forms (including, but not limited to, the Mourner’s Kaddish) is not limited to mourning, but is used throughout Jewish temple/synagogue service (including those services where a bar/bat mitzvah or other life event celebration is part of the proceedings). Neither the Mourner’s Kaddish itself, nor any of the other forms, actually makes any reference to death — partly because its origins weren’t as a mourning prayer. (Structurally, in Jewish services, one of its main functions is as a closure to various sections and subsections of the prayer “script.”)” from

Merrit Malloy is to this day my 30 friend.
She's on Facebook.
Shes living in Santa Barbara with her newest husband who's 93 years young..

God bless Merrit
David Goldsmith

Someone compared this to the Kaddish Yatom and that is patently ridiculous. The Kaddish Yatom is a responsive prayer reading where the congregation responds to the reader and is NOTHING like this poem.
Let God's name be made great and holy in the world that was created as God willed. May God complete the holy realm in your own lifetime, in your days, and in the days of all the house of Israel, quickly and soon. And say: Amen.
May God's great name be blessed, forever and as long as worlds endure.
May it be blessed, and praised, and glorified, and held in honor, viewed with awe, embellished, and revered; and may the blessed name of holiness be hailed, though it be higher by far than all the blessings, songs, praises, and consolations that we utter in this world. And say:
May Heaven grant a universal peace, and life for us, and for all Israel. And say:
May the One who creates harmony above, make peace for us and for all Israel, and for all who dwell on earth. And say:

Just heard this poem on episode 9, season 18, on NCIS. It so touch my heart.

It made me cry. I heard it on the NCS series on the CBS Network last week - I would like to use it with permission, of course. I will research her history

I’m afraid I can’t give you permission as I wasn’t able to find the author myself. Best of luck though. A lot of people appreciate these words.

How can I get permission to publish this poem for my eulogy?

Also looking for permission to set this to music. Any help would be appreciated. email me at [email protected]
Martha Law 1 January 2022

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